SHOUT OUT Haley Holden for taking these pictures for us! They are so special.
I say fresh in my mind—but to be perfectly honest I haven't slept more than three hours in a night for exactly two weeks, so I feel fuzzy on just about everything at the moment. The sleep deprivation is one thing you absolutely cannot prepare for. Tiny babies do not sleep when they are supposed to—simple as that. I've heard rumors of these unicorn babies who sleep well from night one, and if you've had one, I am extremely jealous and also genuinely happy for you. But mostly just jealous. ;)
So, first—the important stuff:
Collins Drew was born on a warm and sunny Thursday, July 25, 2019, at 1:52 p.m. She was 7 pounds, 6 ounces and 19 inches long.
I know you're curious, and no, Collins is not a family name. It was actually one that we initially kicked around for Arden. We've both always liked it. It was between Sloane and Collins this time, and ultimately we landed on Collins because it sounded so sweet with the middle name Drew. Since this is most likely our last babe, I loved the idea of giving her her dad's name. Especially since there will not be an Andrew junior. ;)
Okay, story time.
At our 39 week appointment (which was the Monday before we delivered) Drew got stuck back at work and was running a little behind, so I went to the doctor's office alone expecting he would join me at pretty much any second. Bless him, he actually never missed a single baby appointment, not even with Arden. At this appointment our doctor did his normal things: checked baby's heart rate, measured my belly and then checked me. I was at a "2-3" and 70%—which is pretty well progressed. My whole pregnancy I had said that since this was likely my last baby, I didn't want to be induced again like I was with Arden. I wanted to go into labor by myself so that I'd have both experiences.
Some of my last pics pregnant, taken July 23rd. Also, hey Arden.
But when it came right down to it, I was so done. It was SO hot outside, literally nothing fit me anymore and I was just READY. So I'd made up my mind before the appointment that I would schedule an induction for my due date—July 29th. If I was meant to go into labor by myself, I would before then. And if not, bring on the Pitocin. I actually could not imagine going five days over like I did with Arden. Nope. So after doctor did all the things (Drew was still not there) he said, "So...39 weeks. What do you think? Want to schedule an induction just in case or wait it out?" I was very confident in telling him to schedule that induction for July 29th, and he kind of got this uh oh look on his face. He knew how badly I wanted to go into labor on my own terms, so I imagine it was pretty difficult for him to tell me that not only was the hospital booked up until the next Friday (which would've put me five days over), but he also wasn't on call until late in the week. So, even if I did go into labor on my own, if it was during off hours he probably wouldn't be the one to deliver me. Shoot. Luckily, he was quick to tell me that there was ONE more opening for induction that Thursday—July 25th—if I wanted to take it.
Again, DREW WAS STILL NOT THERE. I was having to pick our baby's birthday on my own. Thursday was scheduled to be my last day at work and I had several meetings and wrap-ups planned for then, not to mention I also had no idea what was on Drew's calendar. But, again, I was not going five days over and I was sure as heck not getting delivered by another doctor. So I scheduled it.
As I was walking out of the room, there was Drew. Bebopping down the hall toward me. Naturally.
My nurse yelled after me, "Kaylee do we need to schedule your next appointment?" I yelled back, "No ma'am—we're having this baby Thursday!" Haha. Poor Drew had to hear the news with an audience. He was shocked and asked, "You sure?" approximately five times before we called and told anyone the news.
So Thursday morning we got up around 6. We finished packing the bags, packed Arden a bag, ate a quick bowl of cereal, got dressed and headed to my Mom's to drop off Arden. We checked in at the hospital at 7:30 and by 8:30 the doctor had broken my water and my nurse had started Pitocin.
Ps—people love to demonize Pitocin, but if I'm being honest, bring it on. I probably tolerate it "better" because I've never experienced labor without it, so I don't know the difference. But that stuff really gets the job done, and I'm ALL about getting in and getting that baby out.
Overall I fully expected this labor to be just like Arden's. Not sure why. I'm aware that people say second babies come faster, but that really never even crossed my mind as an option—probably because I couldn't even let my mind go there. I assumed 12 hours of labor minimum, pushing for an hour minimum, just like before. Settle in.
When I checked in I was at a 3. Contractions were irregular at best for a long while. At about 10 a.m. I started having to breathe through them. By 11 they were pretty much stopping me in my tracks and I told Drew no more visitors in the room. Time to focus. I'd made myself a great playlist, brought my big headphones, and I'd even packed my diffuser and oils. But I distinctly remember in the moment thinking Forget that. I got this. Suck it up, get it done. Haha.
I had it in my head that I wouldn't ask for the epidural until noon on the button. Not sure why, but that was the goal. So I pushed through. When Dr. Koeritz came by to check on me at about 11:30 he said, "Still no epidural? You know you can have it now! Any time!" And then Drew gave me away... "She's okay—she said she's not a quitter." I laughed. Drew clearly doesn't know how to keep a secret. So then of course Doc had to give me the whole speech about an epidural not making me a quitter. And I was like, "Hey Dr. K, I know. You better believe I'm getting that epidural. I'm just not ready yet."
BUT noon finally came (took long enough) and I'm sure glad I asked when I did. By 12, I was pretty much miserable. They couldn't get me my fluids fast enough (you have to be given an entire bag of fluids before you can be given an epidural and it takes a while). By 12:30, the anesthesiologist was in there and by 12:45 we were, in theory, set. In practice, I was still like a 7 on the pain scale. My nurse checked me and I was progressed to an 8. She said the pressure I was feeling was normal because of my progression, but I was just thinking to myself yo lady, I've done this before and last time I got an epidural I was able to take a straight up nap and eat popsicles. This time it was very clear there would be no napping. I started to panic imagining myself being one of those girls you hear about whose epidurals just plain don't work. And no pain meds is not my brand.
About that time, Drew ran out into the lobby to down some Chick-Fil-A nuggets his kind parents brought. He was probably only out there for five minutes before I was hurting so badly that I had to be the obnoxious girl who pushed the call button. Some sweet nurse who was not my own came in and asked if everything was okay, which I remember thinking was ironic given the circumstances. No ma'am, I'm not okay.
"Hi, I'm in a whole lot of pain, something is surely wrong with my epidural." (As I'm literally crying tears.) So she called my nurses in. About the time they were getting there, Drew got back. Nurse #1 checked me to see what the deal was and immediately said something to the tune of, "Oh wow. I'm calling the doctor. We're having a baby!"
Praise the heavens because ouch, that hurt.
All the sudden things started happening. They started really prepping the room and I heard the nurses laughing to each other, "I told ya we were going to have this baby before 2!" All I could think was I hate to disappoint you gals, but even if the doctor gets back over here before two, I've got at least an hour's worth of pushing left to do.
Doc got there just in time for the anesthesiologist to be back in the room trying to make sure everything was placed correctly for my epidural. Let's keep in mind that relatively speaking so little time had passed that I could still feel my feet. Apparently the epidural "takes a while to get all the way through the body." Nice. He gave me a booster to try and help. It didn't and it didn't matter. It was definitely baby time.
I pushed for exactly three minutes before baby showed up. She was really quiet for a few too many seconds. Right about the time I got worried, she started crying. When they finally laid her on my chest, I remember thinking Wow she's so, so pretty! And so tiny!
We held her and just stared at her for a long while before we had family come in and meet her. I'm sure our parents wanted to kill us for the delay, but Arden's birth was a bit stressful with her complication and we weren't able to have any time just the three of us. With Collins, we were able to take a minute and soak it all in.
Arden loved looking at Collins and petting her, but when we asked her to hold her it was a hard no. Haha.
Collins "brought" Arden a stuffed bunny and "gave it to her" as a gift. Arden loved it and still sleeps with it every night.
A small handful of Coll's visitors—Some of her aunties and her Lolli.
Collins Drew is a gift and we have loved every minute with her—sleep or no sleep. Our prayer over her life is that she would be a light in a world that so desperately needs its savior, and that she would point people back to Jesus for all her days. We love every bit of you, Collie girl. You were worth it all.
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