The Quarantine Diaries: Week One

Middle of February we started getting a little bit nervous about a new virus we were hearing about in the news that they called the Coronvirus or COVID-19. It seemed to have origins from a Chinese market and it literally got closer and closer to the good old USA with each passing day. By March 1st, I was officially alarmed.

In fairness, I'm the kind of person who gets spooked fairly easy. The Ebola virus outbreak back in college had me secretly doubling down on supplies, and I wasn't too happy about the Zika virus outbreak when I was pregnant with Arden either. And in our current social climate MAN, when people smell fear on you, you get roasted. "You're scared of that thing? You know the flu is way worse!" or "You know that's just media fear mongering." Yes, yes, I hear you—I'm overreacting. It's my own anxiety, so just pretend not to notice me over here panicking. ;)

But perhaps for once, I was (in fact) not overreacting. Don't worry, this shocks me as well. (Although after you read the next few paragraphs you may think I was/am completely overreacting.)

Starting March 2nd I started to stock up on supplies—not STOCKPILE, but just made sure I had ample of what we needed. In the face of uncertainty, knowing I have food and medicine for my family makes me feel in control. On my first trip to Target I bought things that seemed rational: extra diapers, toilet paper (this was well before the infamous shortage), clorox wipes, laundry detergent, flu meds, vitamins, hand soap, bleach, Lysol, etc. I was slightly terrified to tell Drew I'd stocked up for the impending apocalypse. Thankfully, I think a small part of him was relieved. HOWEVER, as I continued to come home with more and more carloads of food and supplies in the days that followed, I am, in fact, certain he believed I was losing grip on reality. And maybe I was. But he DID hold his tongue!

This meme was me 100%. Justifying my purchases like, "But we will use this, pandemic or not!" 

Our pantry started to really fill up...

By the way, I'm not showing you my pantry as some weird flex. I'm showing you for levity. These purchases weren't even smart or well planned, they were just weird. Many gallons of baby water, five cans of baby formula, ample baby food, (here's where things get odd) evaporated milk, ramen, kraft mac n cheese, so much instant oatmeal, canned soups, spaghetti o's, peanut butter, canned orange juice—y'all, what was my plan here?


There is a very disorganized place in the back of the pantry closet where I store random party supplies which is where I hid my really disturbing purchases like pasta, dried beans, rice, etc. You'll also notice that I pre-purchased all of Arden's Easter basket supplies fully expecting to be stuck indoors until Easter. 


And by the way, the creepier and emptier the grocery stores got, the more I felt like I needed to buy. Feeding the hysteria. Nice move, America. Just kidding, I fully blame my own anxiety. 

But aside from my personal issues, this was getting real. When they finally canceled SXSW in Austin on March 6th to prevent the potential spread, we all kind of knew where this thing was heading. Plus, each day that passed brought more cases of the virus to America. And we kept hearing more and more bad news from countries like Italy. Their healthcare system was loaded down with coronavirus patients, its infrastructure on the verge of collapse from the influx of sick people. Finally, their country was put into a straight up mandatory quarantine, which is when things in America took a turn. It all of a sudden became very important that we did NOT become Italy. So our countrywide shut down went something like this from my small perspective: First the big events (like SXSW) canceled "out of an abundance of caution", then the smaller events followed suit (like Magnolia's Spring at the Silos). Then Discovery put a ban on all travel that was not "business critical." Then even the critical stuff was encouraged to be conducted by video chat. Then Trump sealed off our borders, and many states and cities began encouraging social distancing and implementing curfews and business closures (like gyms, bars, clubs, etcetera). They also closed down schools, encouraging online instruction. 

In Waco just about everywhere is closed for business other than grocery stores, pharmacies, and some restaurants with curbside capabilities. This week Magnolia also closed all guest facing business units until at least March 30th and postponed the annual marathon for the fall (which was extra upsetting since Mom and I were in the middle of training for the half). Baylor extended their spring break a whole week, and will likely not have students return for the rest of the semester. Most universities are doing the same. 

The Whitehouse currently encourages not being in groups of more than ten at a time, so workplaces are mostly closed as well, other than those lucky enough to be able to work remotely. We're also holding church services in our homes, doing virtual workouts, and keeping our kids home from daycare—which is closed even if I were comfortable taking them. 

March 16th the first 6 cases of travel-related coronavirus were reported in our county. So it's here. 

And we're spooked. Not as much about the virus—come what may with the actual virus, we will take it one day at a time. The scarier part is the uncertainty. We're working from home. Our kids are home with us. We haven't left the house except for HEB or to go out on a walk. We are worried for our jobs, for our economy, for our city, for our elderly, for our peace of mind, and for our normalcy. We so desperately want a little bit of that back. I want to run to Starbucks and grab a coffee. Drew wants to take the girls on a real outing to get their wiggles out. We want to take a family trip to Target. We want to plan a summer vacation. We want to take our girls to their regularly scheduled doctor appointments without fear of catching this thing. We want to run to HEB and find endless fresh produce to choose from rather than empty shelves. The list goes on. 

And I KNOW there is no reason to fear. Matthew 6:34 gives us the MOST wise advice—don't worry about tomorrow. So I am resting in that and trying to find peace in it rather than leaning on my own understanding. There is a plan at play and it's bigger than the coronavirus. Drew and I have been playing "The Blessing" by Kari Jobe / Elevation Worship a lot. I highly recommend it if you have an anxious heart. 

May His favor be upon you and a thousand generations,
and your family,
and your children,
and their children,
and their children.
Good stuff. 

For some fun, I present you with a few scenes from our first week of quarantine: 

Arden, sleepy morning eyes but ready to help me "work" 


Collins and Poppy at family dinner before the official "no more than ten in a room" call was made







We may or may not have snuck into an abandoned school park to play for a few minutes on our walk.






Could not be bothered—EXCEPT when she was screaming over so many of my work calls. 


Drew readying our outdoor furniture for an alfresco dinner. 





Big sis wanted Coll to be a princess. 


What an unprecedented moment. Lately it doesn't come naturally, but it is important to stay grateful through this. We are blessed with health and work and food when so many are not. So we'll press on! We'll do what we can. And we'll come out the other end of this more thankful than ever for coffee dates and handshakes and normalcy.








Collins Drew is here!

As I write this Collins is exactly two weeks old (correction, as I go back to actually input the photos and post this, Collins is seven months old. Oops! BUT the rest of this post was finished two weeks after she was born). I figured it was about time to put "pen to paper" and get this story written out while the details are still fresh in my mind.

SHOUT OUT Haley Holden for taking these pictures for us! They are so special.

I say fresh in my mind—but to be perfectly honest I haven't slept more than three hours in a night for exactly two weeks, so I feel fuzzy on just about everything at the moment. The sleep deprivation is one thing you absolutely cannot prepare for. Tiny babies do not sleep when they are supposed to—simple as that. I've heard rumors of these unicorn babies who sleep well from night one, and if you've had one, I am extremely jealous and also genuinely happy for you. But mostly just jealous. ;)

So, first—the important stuff:
Collins Drew was born on a warm and sunny Thursday, July 25, 2019, at 1:52 p.m. She was 7 pounds, 6 ounces and 19 inches long.


I know you're curious, and no, Collins is not a family name. It was actually one that we initially kicked around for Arden. We've both always liked it. It was between Sloane and Collins this time, and ultimately we landed on Collins because it sounded so sweet with the middle name Drew. Since this is most likely our last babe, I loved the idea of giving her her dad's name. Especially since there will not be an Andrew junior. ;)

Okay, story time.
At our 39 week appointment (which was the Monday before we delivered) Drew got stuck back at work and was running a little behind, so I went to the doctor's office alone expecting he would join me at pretty much any second. Bless him, he actually never missed a single baby appointment, not even with Arden. At this appointment our doctor did his normal things: checked baby's heart rate, measured my belly and then checked me. I was at a "2-3" and 70%—which is pretty well progressed. My whole pregnancy I had said that since this was likely my last baby, I didn't want to be induced again like I was with Arden. I wanted to go into labor by myself so that I'd have both experiences.

Some of my last pics pregnant, taken July 23rd. Also, hey Arden.


But when it came right down to it, I was so done. It was SO hot outside, literally nothing fit me anymore and I was just READY. So I'd made up my mind before the appointment that I would schedule an induction for my due date—July 29th. If I was meant to go into labor by myself, I would before then. And if not, bring on the Pitocin. I actually could not imagine going five days over like I did with Arden. Nope. So after doctor did all the things (Drew was still not there) he said, "So...39 weeks. What do you think? Want to schedule an induction just in case or wait it out?" I was very confident in telling him to schedule that induction for July 29th, and he kind of got this uh oh look on his face. He knew how badly I wanted to go into labor on my own terms, so I imagine it was pretty difficult for him to tell me that not only was the hospital booked up until the next Friday (which would've put me five days over), but he also wasn't on call until late in the week. So, even if I did go into labor on my own, if it was during off hours he probably wouldn't be the one to deliver me. Shoot. Luckily, he was quick to tell me that there was ONE more opening for induction that Thursday—July 25th—if I wanted to take it.

Again, DREW WAS STILL NOT THERE. I was having to pick our baby's birthday on my own. Thursday was scheduled to be my last day at work and I had several meetings and wrap-ups planned for then, not to mention I also had no idea what was on Drew's calendar. But, again, I was not going five days over and I was sure as heck not getting delivered by another doctor. So I scheduled it.

As I was walking out of the room, there was Drew. Bebopping down the hall toward me. Naturally.

My nurse yelled after me, "Kaylee do we need to schedule your next appointment?" I yelled back, "No ma'am—we're having this baby Thursday!" Haha. Poor Drew had to hear the news with an audience. He was shocked and asked, "You sure?" approximately five times before we called and told anyone the news.

So Thursday morning we got up around 6. We finished packing the bags, packed Arden a bag, ate a quick bowl of cereal, got dressed and headed to my Mom's to drop off Arden. We checked in at the hospital at 7:30 and by 8:30 the doctor had broken my water and my nurse had started Pitocin.




Ps—people love to demonize Pitocin, but if I'm being honest, bring it on. I probably tolerate it "better" because I've never experienced labor without it, so I don't know the difference. But that stuff really gets the job done, and I'm ALL about getting in and getting that baby out.


Overall I fully expected this labor to be just like Arden's. Not sure why. I'm aware that people say second babies come faster, but that really never even crossed my mind as an option—probably because I couldn't even let my mind go there. I assumed 12 hours of labor minimum, pushing for an hour minimum, just like before. Settle in.

When I checked in I was at a 3. Contractions were irregular at best for a long while. At about 10 a.m. I started having to breathe through them. By 11 they were pretty much stopping me in my tracks and I told Drew no more visitors in the room. Time to focus. I'd made myself a great playlist, brought my big headphones, and I'd even packed my diffuser and oils. But I distinctly remember in the moment thinking Forget that. I got this. Suck it up, get it done. Haha.

I had it in my head that I wouldn't ask for the epidural until noon on the button. Not sure why, but that was the goal. So I pushed through. When Dr. Koeritz came by to check on me at about 11:30 he said, "Still no epidural? You know you can have it now! Any time!" And then Drew gave me away... "She's okay—she said she's not a quitter." I laughed. Drew clearly doesn't know how to keep a secret. So then of course Doc had to give me the whole speech about an epidural not making me a quitter. And I was like, "Hey Dr. K, I know. You better believe I'm getting that epidural. I'm just not ready yet."

BUT noon finally came (took long enough) and I'm sure glad I asked when I did. By 12, I was pretty much miserable. They couldn't get me my fluids fast enough (you have to be given an entire bag of fluids before you can be given an epidural and it takes a while). By 12:30, the anesthesiologist was in there and by 12:45 we were, in theory, set. In practice, I was still like a 7 on the pain scale. My nurse checked me and I was progressed to an 8. She said the pressure I was feeling was normal because of my progression, but I was just thinking to myself yo lady, I've done this before and last time I got an epidural I was able to take a straight up nap and eat popsicles. This time it was very clear there would be no napping. I started to panic imagining myself being one of those girls you hear about whose epidurals just plain don't work. And no pain meds is not my brand.

About that time, Drew ran out into the lobby to down some Chick-Fil-A nuggets his kind parents brought. He was probably only out there for five minutes before I was hurting so badly that I had to be the obnoxious girl who pushed the call button. Some sweet nurse who was not my own came in and asked if everything was okay, which I remember thinking was ironic given the circumstances. No ma'am, I'm not okay.

"Hi, I'm in a whole lot of pain, something is surely wrong with my epidural." (As I'm literally crying tears.) So she called my nurses in. About the time they were getting there, Drew got back. Nurse #1 checked me to see what the deal was and immediately said something to the tune of, "Oh wow. I'm calling the doctor. We're having a baby!"

Praise the heavens because ouch, that hurt.

All the sudden things started happening. They started really prepping the room and I heard the nurses laughing to each other, "I told ya we were going to have this baby before 2!" All I could think was I hate to disappoint you gals, but even if the doctor gets back over here before two, I've got at least an hour's worth of pushing left to do. 

Doc got there just in time for the anesthesiologist to be back in the room trying to make sure everything was placed correctly for my epidural. Let's keep in mind that relatively speaking so little time had passed that I could still feel my feet. Apparently the epidural "takes a while to get all the way through the body." Nice. He gave me a booster to try and help. It didn't and it didn't matter. It was definitely baby time.

I pushed for exactly three minutes before baby showed up. She was really quiet for a few too many seconds. Right about the time I got worried, she started crying. When they finally laid her on my chest, I remember thinking Wow she's so, so pretty! And so tiny! 




We held her and just stared at her for a long while before we had family come in and meet her. I'm sure our parents wanted to kill us for the delay, but Arden's birth was a bit stressful with her complication and we weren't able to have any time just the three of us. With Collins, we were able to take a minute and soak it all in.



When Arden finally came in later that afternoon, she was very happy to meet Collins—who we'd been talking about with her nonstop for months! She said, "Tahwins came out of your belly and now your belly is little?!" I loved it.



Arden loved looking at Collins and petting her, but when we asked her to hold her it was a hard no. Haha.



Collins "brought" Arden a stuffed bunny and "gave it to her" as a gift. Arden loved it and still sleeps with it every night. 




A small handful of Coll's visitors—Some of her aunties and her Lolli. 







We were moved to our recovery room around 8 that night. Turns out our girl had a pretty good case of Jaundice, which meant we ended up staying three nights total in the hospital. It was rough. I've never been so glad to go home in my life.



Collins Drew is a gift and we have loved every minute with her—sleep or no sleep. Our prayer over her life is that she would be a light in a world that so desperately needs its savior, and that she would point people back to Jesus for all her days. We love every bit of you, Collie girl. You were worth it all. 



March 16, 2020 - Collins is seven months old now! I've been neglecting this blog—not because I don't love it, but because my computer's memory was completely full and I couldn't add any photos to my posts. Ha. BUT now we're organized and back in action. Can't wait to catch you up on Collie's first half year of life real soon. Spoiler: We still aren't sleeping. ;)

38 weeks and we are ready. I think.

38 weeks. Wow. Half of me can't believe we're already here, and the other half is like GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME. So typical, I know. Nothing fits me. And I mean that. This dress ^ and maybe four other dresses. I'm afraid they've probably already caught on at work that I have no clothes, but I just can't make myself care quite enough to buy anything else. With any luck, this sweet baby girl will be here in the next two weeks and I won't have to worry about maternity clothes ever again! 
Lindsay's older brother passed away this last week after a long, hard-fought battle with brain cancer. Though it was under the very worst of circumstances, I have to admit it was so good to see her back here in Texas. Alaska is really, really far away, after all. So Drew and I were pretty much going to do whatever it took to make it to the funeral this past Friday morning. Even if it meant at 5:30 a.m. wakeup call, an eight hour round trip road trip, and some VERY swollen pregnant ankles...
Yeah, I can't make this stuff up, people. That's real. No excess of salt, DEFINITELY no lack of hydration (I drink water CONSTANTLY)—simply my body reacting to sitting for a very long time without my feet propped up. This is maybe my most miserable pregnancy symptom—because on top of being really uncomfortable, it's just plain embarrassing. 
Last weekend was the fourth of July and we THRIVED. We hung out at the pool for a while, we saw fireworks, AND we had breakfast at Cracker Barrel. Nothing more American than that.









Homegirl's first funnel cake...


This was Arden's first experience with fireworks, and we were ver nervous that she wouldn't like them and make a scene. After all, all of Arden's fears have one thing in common—they are loud. So it was looking pretty dicey for us. BUT she liked them! I won't say loved them, considering about ten minutes into the show she was ready to pull her beloved bubbles back out of her backpack and play, but she DID like them. 
You know, I keep joking that I'm ready to have a baby—but I am NOT ready to have a baby. There is still so much to be done—in our house, at work, in life...literally everywhere. It's a little bit scary considering without a single doubt in my mind that by this point in my pregnancy with Arden, we were longgg ready. The nursery was in ship shape, I'd completed all my major work projects, the house was in order—all of it. And just today, for example, I had a full on breakdown in the nursery because not only was it a complete wreck (see photo) but it is the SAME as Arden's nursery. I hadn't updated anything or switched anything out. 

Thank goodness for Drew. He swiftly cleaned the whole thing up and suggested that with a new rug and maybe some new curtains, it would be different enough to not look exactly like Arden's nursery. He was right. I ordered some fresh crib sheets tonight and already felt better. Drew and I even spent some time finishing Arden's big girl room while she was at my Dad's tonight, so that we don't have to do that after baby comes. But truly, the real victory was the hot mess in the nursery. 
This room was basically the manifestation of "It has to get worse before it can get better." This mess was the product of two or three weekend attempts at organizing Arden's baby clothes, washing all of the newborn clothes and swaddles, closet organizing, pulling EVERYTHING out to see what all we still have, writing down what we still need and also a good old fashioned storage shortage in our house. 

Arden's big girl room was really a guest room/storage space before she moved in. We don't often have out of town guests, so a lot of random junk accumulated over the years in there before we converted it. All of which we simply relocated to the nursery until we could get around to finding permanent homes for it. SO that storage shortage combined with this total nursery reorg meant this room has been a mess for MONTHS. So when Drew got in there today and reworked it all, I was immediately relieved. One big thing checked off the list! He knows the way to my heart. So now, not only is it clean, but the baby clothes are neatly organized into size bins, the newborn clothes are freshly laundered and everything is neatly tucked away. I'll post updated nursery pictures once baby is here. Her name is (finally, as of today) hanging over her crib now, so we can't post anything just yet! 

Now that that's checked off the list, I'll probably go into labor tonight. 
The other week Drew needed to sit next to me at work (the desk next to mine is empty, so he took up residence for the day because of a big meeting happening in his area) so this is just a pic of him working. Because I like him. And I like working at the same place as he does. It's pretty fun. 

Life has been flying by at a million miles an hour and it doesn't seem to be slowing down. I'm trying to soak up every last moment of Arden being our only babe and remember that I'll miss this big ole belly and this crazy season of potty training—while also being nine months pregnant—while ALSO living life in the heat of July. It's been such a unique and crazy and FUN few months for so many reasons. But I think this next part is gonna be pretty great, too.